Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
