Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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