you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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