Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
