Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
