Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
