And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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