we're blogging at a bar
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
