i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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