i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
