Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
