its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
