grandma shit on top of the toilet
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
