next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
