I wish they made helmets for livers.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
