Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
