I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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