Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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