Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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