so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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