Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
