this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
