wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
