just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
