I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
