Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
