he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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