I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
