who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
