Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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