I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The air was thick with penises
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
