you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
