We're facebook friends in real life
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
