yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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