its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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