Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
