News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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