She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
