eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
