I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
