if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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