the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
