Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
