The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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