After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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