Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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