Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
