you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
