lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
