I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
